Exercising my left side of the brain

I'm really glad I started writing again. I feel like I've been suppressing a lot of thoughts and emotions this past year because of school and all the busy-ness that comes with the school-year. I've neglected my left side of the brain sadly. This is probably why I'm more of an ENTJ during the school year and then more ENFJ when I'm relaxed during the summer. But even still..it seems foreign writing about how I "feel." It's kind of scary how I can close myself off emotionally to things and then become less and less sympathetic to people's emotions, especially when people are expressing more vulnerable emotions.

I think I've come to perceive expressing emotions to people and in public as a weakness. I know the stereotype is that it's okay for women to cry and flail in public, and if a woman is crying for a good reason, it's completely understandable. Despite that, I still think it's inappropriate to express emotions that are too private or too vulnerable in public. This is why I hate PDA and can't stand people who do it--(and definitely stay away from guys who seem like the PDA types). Why do some people feel the need to prostitute their emotions and activities to the world? I don't get it. If you are going to slobber all over each other, do it behind a door at least.

I like to make fun of my melodramatic friends, but I guess I'm a hypocrite because I hide my melodramatic-ness. I suppose one of the few ways I do express this side is through music, writing or playing piano. Even still I can't help cringing when I go back and read some of the poems/song lyrics I've written in the past.

But honestly, most of the best writers, musicians, artists etc. I know are all melodramatic people--to some degree. That's probably why so many artists/musicians suicide--because they're not logical enough. (Or if you're philosophically logical, but not mentally logical like Hemingway, the logical end to life would be to shoot yourself as he did.)

One of my good guy friends--also one of the best writers I know personally--is definitely a melodramatic dude. He openly admitted that he emotes like a female. I didn't bother to make him feel better about that one. I told him, "Yup, you definitely do emote like a female. I'm probably manlier than you are." (haha, just kidding--if you are that friend and happen to read this, don't kill me!)